The 6 Steps of Eating a Taco
by Werby567
Summary: This is a stupid one-shot about Percy eating a taco. From "The Seven Steps of Eating a Burrito" by College Humor.
**AN: Hello! Werby567 here. I'm sorry The Kingdom hasn't been updated yet, but I'm working on it. I wrote this fanfiction because 1. I'm sick and tired of writing The Kingdom and 2. I got bored. Hope you enjoy this… thing.**

 **Disclaimer-I'm Not Rick Riordan. If I was, the Trials of Apollo would've been out by now.**

 **Percy-3rd person**

Percy felt tired. And hungry. Really hungry. He had just finished battling a hellhound, and was drained from using his powers. Usually, he'd just reach into his Ziploc bag for his ambrosia, but he threw the bag away when he ran out of food two days ago. Plus, it was lunch. He searched through his pockets to find a free, huge taco coupon for Chipotle. He immediately rushed to the nearest restaurant, relieved.

 **Step 1:Preparation for B Day.**

 **Percy-2nd person**

You start to sweat. You prepare your order in your head. You feel anxious because: are starving to death and a taco is a tough challenge. But then you chide yourself. _No! Don't think about that! You're a Son of Poseidon, the Savior of Olympus, the One that Awakened Gaia. Okay, maybe not I shouldn't think of that. But you've done countless tasks. You're loyal to your friends, helpful to ones in need. You are the Percy Jackson! Why should you be afraid of a measly taco?!_ Yet that feeling in your stomach still says you will lose the challenge. You gulp as you order your monstrosity. You get your wallet ready. As well as your mouth. Saliva starts to build up in it. You take a few breaths as you exchange your money for your taco. The aromas hit you, as you realize how hungry you are. You sit yourself on a table. You finally decide that the time has come. You are ready.

 **Step 2:The First Bite**

You look at the taco. Finding a way for a clean bite would be tough. You soon pick the side as your entry hole, as it would prevent spillage. Although unconsciously you want the filling to spill out like a dam hole. **AN: Ha! Inside Joke**. You try to fit the side of the taco in your mouth. You finally are satisfied, and bite. Confusing flavors sprout in your mouth. You try to swallow the bite after a few moments, but the filling refuses to go down. After a few seconds, you try again. This time, the filing cooperates, and you swallow the insides whole. You take a few breaths as you marvel at your latest victory. Little do you know that you just have officially engaged in war with the taco.

 **Step 3:Another One. And Another One. And Another One. And Anot… (DJ KHALED)**

You look up at the taco again about 10 seconds later. _Man, I still have a lot to go._

Your stomach is already beginning to feel bad, and most of the taco still remains. You decide to take an small-sized bite off the other corner. More flavors pop into your mouth as your brain tries to keep up. After the flavors are mostly gone, you decide, _Hey! That wasn't so bad. I think I could take another bite._ And so you do. After that one, you take another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. Soon enough, you've balanced to top out, so that approximately 2/3rds of the monster is left. But you already feel stuffed, and the authentic mexican taste is getting old. Yet you feel accomplished and think you might win the war. Soon enough.

 **Step 4:The "Filler" Step**

Tired of the shell getting in your way, you treat your taco as a drink, as the filling spills inside your mouth. Flavors again flood into your mouth, but without the taste of the shell. _You know, this is actually a good idea._ You start hollowing out the middle, but stop halfway because too much hollowing means too much taco shell to eat. You groan at how much bland shell there is left. _You know, this is actually_ _ **not**_ _a good idea._ As you start eating the shell, your stomach starts to churn in disapproval. You keep on thinking to yourself- _I can do this. I can do this,_ but your body and stomach disagrees. After you finish your first bite of the skin, you feel like you want to vomit. _Only one million more bites to go,_ your brain thinks bitterly. After what seems like a year or two, you finish the skin off, and you're trying hard not to gag. You feel horrible, and your stomach is about to explode. Your face is hot from the mild sauce you (stupidly) decided to put into the mix. Yet seeing the last few bites in your grasp and (stubbornly) decide to carry on.

 **Step 5: The Last Two Bites**

Your face is burning. Your stomach is begging your body to throw up. _Why couldn't I just get a quesadilla, or something,_ your mind says. _They don't give you that feeling of throwing up._ But you carry on. Looking at the taco- or at least what's left of it- gives you motivation. You could just stuff the remains of the taco into your mouth and hope for the best. However, you don't feel like puking out your lunch, and the hot pocket you ate for breakfast (What? Annabeth's cooking is _horrible)._ You decide to take two smaller bites to finish off the job. As soon as you bite into the taco, bland flavors meet your tongue, but you ignore them. You close your eyes, hoping that it will make time go by faster. You can't hold back the feeling of throwing up as you finally swallow your bite. By now, you're making promises to yourself. _Take a nibble and you can buy yourself a breakfast instead of eating cereal_

( **AN: Demeter demands that all of the seven have to eat cereal for breakfast, if not with lots of grains in the breakfast.** ) _Eat the taco and you won't have to eat another...thing for another decade._ Finally, you well up all your strength as you take a bite, no your **last** bite into the taco, swallowing it whole. After you finished, and swallowed the morsel, your head is numb with up with astonishment and disbelief. You have finally won the war with the taco.

 **Step 6: Victory at Last!**

You stand up in the air and cheer at your accomplishment, not caring about the many spectators that you have attracted. Your stomach doesn't hurt anymore, a break from the pain that you endeavored. Your face shows pure joy, like if a person won a million dollars.

 **Epilogue**

Percy was once again, very hungry. He was exiting the aquarium, (What? He liked to talk to the fish!)

and was going into his car. He tried to search for a free coupon for lunch when he found a free taco coupon.

 **...** _ **Uh Oh**_


End file.
